I had a realtor on Maui, a realtor on Hawai'i Island and seriously, if I had known the Rock lived in Maui, I'd be his neighbor. Love what the Rock is cooking any night. lol! But I digress.
Our original scouting mission to Hawai'i last year included Maui. In fact, original to the plan was a brief layover in Oahu, then onto Maui for the serious business of house hunting. My Maui realtor, super cool guy, but a bit of a sillyhead, had helped me find accommodations for our trip. I told him we'd be flying into Oahu then taking a direct interisland flight to Maui immediately following and that we would need help with a place to stay if he knew anyone on AirBnB he could recommend. He said he did and connected us, like a good soul and a realtor that knew there was business to be done.
Well I believe that things happen for a reason. You may not know it at the time and it may seem terribly inconvenient, but the Universe does intervene, apparently.
I'm contacted by our helpful host the day before and we exchange emails to make final arrangements. We are getting a car so I needed directions, we were coming in quite early, etc. Super nice of Doug to help us out, he had a full apartment we could use and it was right on the North Shore, couldn't miss it. Just across the street from Ted's at Sunset Beach.... words were flying, he was excited in an old surf-dude sorta way and telling me all kinds of things I couldn't quite process in the moment because my mind sorta stuck, like a glitch on one thing.... North Shore.
FULL STOP. Finally, my brain connects to my big mouth and I blurt out, "NORTH SHORE?! WAIT! WHAT??!" Hold the freaking phone a minute....
I am panicking but manage to type out the email that said this:
North Shore. As in THE North Shore. As in.... Oahu??
And his smart ass response should have clued me in instantly, but I think the best of people, always. Even when I shouldn't. His response was this:
Uh, yea? Duh? Where did you think you were going? North Shore is in Oahu. Google it.
I was a) irritated as hell at that rude response and b) irritated as hell with the realtor ON MAUI who connected me with a friend of his ON OAHU for what was supposed to be my house hunting adventures on MAUI.
Yea, I'm stupido? I mean, why the heck would I assume that the BnB you hooked me up with would be on a different island. Yep, my bad. I have a yacht, no biggie?
I'm not sure what planet he was on when we had this conversation or why he wouldn't have just clarified in case it wasn't extremely clear by the fact that I had hired him to help us house hunt in Maui... but something went amiss in the convo. Obvs.
But given that this was the day before our trip and I didn't have any other accommodations lined up for another week, I had to think fast. F you, ya crazy wanker, I was thinking to myself. Guess we're going to Oahu then. That's also because when I tried to explain that yes, I knew that Maui was on a different island than the North Shore but my house hunting was on Maui... he pulled the ol' guilt card and said that he had reserved it for us, now had no lodgers as it was last minute and would have to charge me for the stay.
Ok, red flags everywhere but we were literally hours from taking off on our Super Trip. I soothe him by agreeing that I was the dummy and we'd figure out what to do once we got there. Our Host with the Most was satisfied for a brief time until he later threatened us Haole with the local Hawai'ian mafia, which I assure you did not go down well with my ex-Special Forces soldier who instantly took offense. Tsunami pulled out the scary in such a low voice, I don't even really know what he said back to our host but Dougie Boy instantly shuffled off to bed. And later apologized to me the next morning asking us to please not leave, just chill and have fun. Wtf, for real, just happened? I just continued to sit there eating my crab and wanting to see what would happen next.
But that's a different weird, hilarious and surreal tale for another time. No one got beat up, hazed thrown out, shanked or wore cement shoes on this trip, I am happy to report. Things settled down after this bizarre show down with our host but it was the weirdest, creepiest stay in the most gorgeous location. So... definitely, it's a story worth telling later.
Moving on. Suffice it to say that I was so annoyed with this whole situation but absolutely committed to the trip, we decide to stay the new course and enjoy Oahu. Screw Maui. A misunderstanding that for most people, would upend their master plan. Not us. We just went with the flow and had a trip that still makes us laugh to this day. Poor Doug. He never stood a chance. A week later, we leave without further incident and the last thing Doug said to me before leaving was, "You are a great lady but these Army guys are crazy." lol! Ya think? All I could think to myself was, "Good luck, Mafia."
So the threat of Hawai'ian Mafia extinguished for the time being, we head to Hawai'i Island, bypassing Maui altogether.
BUT. We did eventually make it to Maui. For my birthday. And for some film industry event Tsunami had been called for that coincided with that weekend. Best part of my trip to Maui.... I ALMOST met the Rock. lol! Tsunami, not so impressed with the Rock by the looks of it even though I know he's also a huge fan. One day, Alice.
We stayed at the Westin Maui, Kahalui, I think it was and it was pretty awesome. You can never go wrong with a Westin and this was pretty brand spanking new, like a year old. We cooked and grilled the whole time we were there. So much so that I am sure there were people who wished they had thought of it, too. And I assure you that filet mignon and lobsters on the grill caused a bit of a stir when the fancy folk realized that what they were smelling throughout the resort wasn't coming from the schicky-micky restaurant onsite. Sad. lol! But then again, those people wouldn't have shared a back pack with their bathing suits just to pack their carry ons with an entire lauder and pantry of good eats like we did!Wish I could tell you all the awesome things we did in Maui but I can't. It was just a long 4 day weekend and a half hour flight from home. Yep, on a clear day, you can see Maui. For real, you can. When we drive to the beaches near our house, Maui is actually visible. In fact, it's so close that sometimes GPS gets confused and thinks we are in Lahaina. We are close enough that the only radio we get by our house is Maui radio.
So we ate super well in Maui but that's because we brought our goodies with us. Not necessary at all, but super practical because we have everything at home we'd eat out at a resort if they knew how to cook as well as we can. And a half hour flight almost seems silly. Up and down. That quick.
We googled for some top chefs but bagged the idea because we were just so chill and enjoyed the massive 2 bedroom apartment style suite at the resort. I highly recommend it and if family ever do come in and want to go to Maui, that's where we'd go. We ran out of time for the Road to Hana trip I desperately wanted to take but knowing it's such a quick trip, we put it on the back burner for next time.
Snorkeling was ok but I didn't find the right spots yet on Maui as the snorkeling is better at home. But again, I haven't spent hardly any time in Maui to say that with any conviction and snorkeling is one of those activities that it doesn't really matter how good it is as long as you can do it safely. At least, that's what I tell myself as a potential setup for returning back to Maui just to prove myself wrong.
I should really write another post about Oahu because the truth is that Oahu is just stunning. Small and stunning and overcrowded compared to Hawai'i Island, but stunning, just the same. It's my favorite layover island next to Papeete, so far and we both welcome any excuse to go back. Lucky for us, it is a required stop over when flying to Tahiti, or just about anywhere else, for that matter, so it's easy enough to squeeze in time in Honolulu when the mood and timing strike.
Our next trip, and we haven't exactly decided, is either back to Moorea or to Savai'i, Samoa. Samoa is an hour closer and I can use my timeshare so we are looking at Samoa. But it's hard to pull yourself away from a place you know and love so much, so we'll see. So far, we've been to 6 islands in the South Pacific. Let's make it 7, shall we?
